Spicy Broccoli Rice

All you low-carb lowlifes have been feasting on cauliflower rice, and it’s damn good. But what about cauliflower’s green cousin broccoli? Why don’t you ever hear about anyone eating broccoli rice? It’s a low carb, grain free alternative, why the stigma? 

After a few test runs, I can comfortably say that broccoli rice is as good, if not better than cauliflower rice, but you can’t prepare it the same way. Unlike cauli-rice where you just use the florets, it’s better to use the whole broccoli, stem and all. The texture is actually better. Think of it as a combination couscous (from the florets) and Israeli couscous (from the stems). Try this recipe: it’s a light vegan meal that covers all of your nutritional bases. Share it with your friends. Share it with your mom. 

Ingredients:

Olive oil

1 bunch scallions, sliced 

10 oz. baby bella mushrooms, sliced

1 C almonds

1 C shredded carrots

2 C kidney beans (optional, if you’re some kind of Keto Creepo)

1 t cumin

1 t smoked paprika

½ t turmeric

Salt and pepper

1 head of broccoli (you want around a pound), hard outer layer of stems peeled, and the whole thing chopped.

Pomegranate seeds (or something like parsley for garnish. Make it pretty)

Instructions:

1. Heat a glug of olive oil in a large saucepan over medium. Add the scallions, mushrooms, almonds, carrots, beans, and spices. Stir to combine and cook for 5 minutes until the mushrooms are soft, but not soggy. G’head and taste one. Set aside.

2. Use a food processor or a cheese grater to get your broccoli into rice/couscous sized pieces.

3. Coat the bottom of a saute pan with olive oil. Add the broccoli with a punch of salt. Stir and saute for about 7 minutes. 

4. Dump the rice into the saucepan, turn the heat low and mix it up for a couple of minutes. 

5. Garnish it. Make it look like you GAF

6. Save your leftovers, it tastes great as a cold salad the next day.