• Eddie

The Whitest Snack You’ll Ever Eat: Fiddleheads, Kale and Pine Nuts with Ramp Pesto

This little bowl of deliciousness is so white, it probably oppressed your ancestors.

This snack is so white it thinks the cucumber sandwich (with the crust cut off) moving in next door is going to kill the property values. This dish talks about the good old days of separate drinking fountains.

If this recipe could vote, it would have voted for Romney. If it could wear shoes, they’d be Sperry Topsiders, if it could dance it would be embarrassing, if it moved into your neighborhood, it would start gentrifying, if it could use a computer it would forward crazy chain e-mails about President Hussein Obama bringing Sharia Law to the US. If it went to the beach, it would need SPF 100. If it could complain, it would totally complain about “well why isn’t there a white history month.”

That’s how white this is.

All ingredients bought at the farmers market, so we’re talking $9/serving, and the serving size is ridiculously small.


1 bunch ramps (wash them well)

¼ C Parmigiano Reggiano

¼ C Olive oil (or EVOO in white talk)

¼ C water

Kosher Sea Salt

2 T butter

¼ C pine nuts

2 C Fiddleheads (wash them well)

2 C baby kale


  1. Start by making the pesto. Chop the ramps and put the all of it (we’re mixing whites and greens) in the bowl of a food processor. Add the olive oil, salt, water and cheese and pulse until you’ve made a pesto.

  2. Set a large sauté pan over med-high heat. Throw in the pine nuts until it starts to smell like toasted nuts, then give them a shake and melt the butter in the pan.

  3. Add the fiddleheads and sautee for 3-5 minutes, until tender but with a bite. (Like how you’d want your asparagus sautéed)

  4. Turn the heat off. Add the baby kale to the pan, and stir in until wilted.

  5. Eat while listening to Wu Tang records. It can get no whiter.

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© 2018 Eddie McNamara